Things have really not been going well between you lately: you have drifted apart, hardly find time for each other, or are constantly fighting. Perhaps there have already been more violent incidents such as cheating and separation.
In this crisis, you ask yourself desperately as a woman or a man:
“How do I save my relationship/marriage from the end? And can the partnership still be saved, or should we end it? “
First of all, for men and women: Cheer up! You have fallen in love with each other before, so there is something precious hidden that you appreciate about each other in the partnership.
You just have to pull together in everyday life and find the right tools to uncover this treasure again. These 7 tips will help you:
Overlook the other’s small quirks
Couple on the sofa arguing about remote control His socks that are constantly lying around the apartment. Your habit of constantly wiping your rag after him …
And of course: the couples’ constant arguing about what to watch on TV. So may you should watch together some romantic movie or series on Netflix, kissanime or On Amazon prime, watch a movie you both like.
At the beginning of the relationship, we can overlook such things, but over time we have the feeling that our partner is driving us crazy. Especially when you come home from a stressful day at work, you go crazy with something like that.
But is everything that the other says and does really that bad? Is it his or her sole fault? Or could the conflict also have something to do with your own thread of patience, which is damn thin?
If the quirks bother you too much, compromise like adults instead of thinking about separation or even divorce. Nobody breaks a spike from the crown when they cut open the rolls over the sink from tomorrow.
Otherwise, you should learn together to overlook these quirks in everyday life by changing your perspective and looking at smaller mistakes with a loving look.
Keep your distance to save your relationship
If the air at home is bad, your nerves are cold and you have argued heavily, it can help to get out of the way for a while during a crisis.
But how long to separate It depends on the severity of the conflict:
Does one of you have the feeling that you don’t get enough freedom in your partnership or is annoyed by the other’s habits? Then one evening is enough in which everyone does something alone with their friends for a chance to clear their heads.
You should also cultivate your own hobbies so as not to cling to your partner and constantly squat on each other.
However, if someone has cheated and a serious breach of trust has occurred, you should keep your distance for a long time.
Then a temporary ban on contact for several weeks can also be useful in order to reflect in peace, to process the pain, and to be clear about the future of the relationship.
In this case, however, announce a break in the relationship so that your partner does not perceive the break in contact as a final separation. If there are children, you should also find a good arrangement with regular visits.
Saving relationships after arguments and separation
You have gained enough distance and the first anger has subsided, the severe pain eased somewhat? Then ask the other person for a serious and open conversation – ideally at one of you at home in a relaxed atmosphere.
Most couples then argue again like the tinker and indulge in reproaches, with sayings like:
“It’s your fault that …”
“You did this to me!”
“You always do …”
Instead of personal attacks with your messages, you should express your feelings in your messages:
“I felt left alone / not noticed …”
“I behaved like this in the situation because …”
“My mistake with you was that I …”
I-statements are the most important rule of your communication right now. Explanations about one’s own emotional life, needs and behavior help to defuse the conflict and arouse understanding in the other, in order to save the partnership together.
Even an apology as an “icebreaker” can do no harm at the beginning of the conversation if you have made a serious mistake (for example cheating). This applies to both men and women.
Listen carefully to understand your partner
The second part of successful communication: A goal-oriented conversation for two does not only consist of talking and “constructive arguments”, but also of listening. Also ask the partner about their emotional state, needs, and expectations.
Try to get his point of view to understand him.
What would you wish for our partners so that we can give each other another chance together and become happy again?
All of this, of course, not in a reproachful tone, but calmly and with an attentive interest in the other person’s situation.
Understanding his or her behavior can help forgive disappointments and regain lost trust – even after a breakup.
Set a new course for your relationship
The happy couple reconciled at home With the crises it is like in the seafaring: If no one knows exactly where the ship is supposed to sail, the next major storm will cause it to roll and run onto a reef.
In order to save your relationship, you should therefore determine exactly what you want to change in the future and create your own rituals, adapted to your needs.
And please be specific, dear men and women! Instead of swearing a general “We’re changing” or “We’ll do everything better from now on”, as most couples do, you can formulate a precise plan.
For example, insure each other:
“From today on we will talk about it on the same evening every time if something depresses or bothers one of us, regardless of the topic!”
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